Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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