I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm passing your future prison.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
