party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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