Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
