I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
