I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What a dumb baby whore.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
