I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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