He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
