And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
