Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
