My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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