I smell stomach acid.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
