I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
