This girl is more easily done than said...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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