I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
