I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
