I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
