Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
