Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
