There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My breasts were aching with rage.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
