I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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