dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
