I just saw a hot homeless man
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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