I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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