She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
