yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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