I've blown a few things in my day
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
