Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
