my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
