worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
