Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
