What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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