Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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