Buhtt sex?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
