Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
