i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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