The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize