were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
