why didn't you poke me back
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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