i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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