I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
