whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
