i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
