is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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