He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
