Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
