I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
