carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
