Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
