The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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