the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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