We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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