I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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