doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I didn't notice because vodka
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
