I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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