the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
