How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
