mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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