I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
