There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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