so explain again why im purple
no
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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