I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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