jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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