We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
