i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize